Who are you giving your power to? 

When you are dealing with an intuitive decision, do you go to your friends for advice? Do you spend hours searching for answers on Google? Who is the deemed “expert” in your life, and why aren’t you trusting yourself with your own life purpose?

I’ve been teaching my intuition course for many years now. Before we dove into intuition training, I would ask my students what they wanted to work on, and I would always hear:

“I don’t trust myself.” 

Maybe you are someone who has received a ton of intuitive information telling you to “go left,” but the logical part of your brain is telling you to “go right.” Your gut is telling you to quit your job, but you really need money right now. What do you do? What if your gut is wrong?

A story about a student who took the Fleur Intuition Mastery Method.

My student Monica was a singer who was living a nomadic lifestyle. Before taking intuition training, Monica struggled with giving her power away. Whenever Monica had an intuitive question, she would turn to psychics, but they would all give her different opinions. This was exasperating -- Monica felt even more lost.  

Monica isn't alone in this experience. I have seen many students experience the frustration of going to psychic after psychic, only to receive contradictory advice. If this is you, there's a key lesson here: Intuition can only exist when we prioritize internal information over external information. 

Psychic readings are always external information, which might be surprising (1). While it's easy to see how the media, friends, and well-meaning parents could be labeled as external information, one might expect a psychic to offer something more internal. Sometimes they can, but ultimately, they are still external sources. When these sources conflict, the only solution is to look within. 

Monica decided to ditch the psychics and work on her own inner voice, first through her intuition training. Then one day Monica was invited to attend a birthday party in Mexico. “I didn’t have the money to go,” she says, “but I felt this immediate ‘yes.’”  

When she went to the party, she met some female musicians who wanted to collaborate on a new album. “Then I decided to stay for a few months. Now I live here permanently,” she says, “I didn’t need outside feedback. I just needed to trust my internal ‘yes,’ and I ended up making the best decision of my life.” 

Intuition and self-trust

Trusting ourselves can be daunting, especially in a world where external opinions hold significant weight. But the truth is, we possess an innate spiritual wisdom that knows what’s best for us. You are the only person who has been the witness to your entire life. No one else can fully understand your unique experiences, spirituality, desires, and aspirations. Your inner knowing will always guide you towards your life purpose. 

Many students who take my intuition course come to me searching for advice. While there is nothing wrong with seeking the guidance of others, I stand by the fact that you must have strong intuition training in order to discern whose advice you want to follow. It's the inner knowing that will guide you to the right psychic, and also the right therapist. Therefore, it's important to get the intuition working first. 

My intuition course teaches you how to be your own psychic and rely on your own spiritual gifts, so you no longer need to rely on external validation for all your choices and can wisely choose the advice you do take on. When we give away our power, no matter how well-meaning the source, we may start to doubt our own judgment and decisions and allow others to reshape our destiny (2). Had Monica asked other people if she should have gone to Mexico, there is a chance she would have stayed home and missed this wonderful opportunity. Through intuition training, Monica learned how to follow her gut. Not only did this lead to a great experience, but it made her more confident to follow future impulses.

Intuition and confidence have an interesting, intertwined relationship (3). In fact, throughout history, many intuitives have said they could not teach intuition! I recall a colleague of mine saying that it was impossible to teach that inner knowing because she could not teach self-esteem, and if someone did not have self-esteem, they simply could not be intuitive. 

While she's not wrong about the relationship, I disagree that it cannot be taught. Much to my delight, I have actually found the opposite to be true, it only takes practice! In exit surveys for my intuition course, I ask students what they gained from their experience. The majority will say confidence, self-esteem, and trust in themselves. It's an ever-evolving relationship: when inner knowing increases, so does confidence. The more we follow the intuition, the more confident we are in it. 

Finding your life purpose

Through intuition training, we can become clearer in our purpose as well. And, the most confident people I know are clear on their direction in life. Do you see how it's all connected? It was for Monica, too. 

Monica loved music, but she wasn’t getting the career opportunities that she was hoping for, and was lacking a sense of purpose. Self-confidence and purpose are intricately connected, each reinforcing the other (4). When you have a clear sense of purpose, you understand your goals and values, which provides a strong foundation for your actions and decisions. Self-confidence also enables you to pursue your spiritual purpose, even in the face of adversity. 

Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie faced many obstacles when making Barbie (5). The doll is incredibly popular with a long, complicated history. They had to create a film that would address the feminist issues with Barbie, but also still appeal to their investors at Mattel. The film had to appeal to men and women, children and adults, and be internationally successful. Robbie had to breathe life into a character who was void of an interior voice without making her look unintelligent. We all take knocks to our confidence; the important thing is to not let it bring you into a downward spiral. Both Gerwig and Robbie have been very candid about their feelings of self-doubt during the complicated filmmaking process, but had the confidence to persevere. This self-confidence was closely tied to their inner knowing, guiding their creative decisions throughout the project. They had an inner knowing that they could make a film that would deeply resonate with their viewers. They were also strongly rooted in their intuitive purpose; to make a successful film that would inspire women of all ages. 

It is a fundamental human necessity to be connected to our life purpose. When we feel lost, disconnected from intuition, we also feel lost in life purpose and direction. Having a sense of life purpose has a huge effect on your mental and emotional well-being. Knowing what you want to achieve in life gives you a sense of direction and motivation. A sense of purpose is associated with higher levels of intrinsic motivation, where actions are driven by internal rewards rather than external pressures. Purpose enhances self-confidence, because it makes you feel like your life is significant and your contributions matter. Neuropsychological studies suggest that having a life purpose can activate reward centers in the brain, reinforcing positive behaviors and fostering a sense of fulfillment. According to Psych Central (6), “A life lived with purpose and meaning is good for brain health and may help reduce risk of dementia in older adults.”

Confidence also bridges the gap between knowing and doing. While knowledge is the understanding of information, self-confidence is the belief in one’s ability to apply that knowledge effectively. It works the same for intuition training; all the inner knowing in the world will do you no good if you never follow it. 

Developing an unshakeable trust in your intuition is best practiced in small things first, so you can build the confidence to make the big moves when called upon. 

A personal story

Let me give you a personal example of a big intuitive call to action. Around three years ago, I was walking in the dog park when I was struck with this intuitive bolt of lightning: “You’re leaving Los Angeles.”

It went through me like truth, but my immediate reaction was to fight it. At this point, I had been living in LA for thirteen years. I had no reason to leave, all of my friends were here, work was going well, and moving is SUCH a pain. It clearly had to be wrong, yet it kept coming back. You’releavingLosAngelesYou’releavingLosAngelesYou’releavingLosAngeles.

When you get a call like that, you can try to ignore it, but it will still be done for you. If you keep hearing it in the depths of your being, your world will change to make this happen anyway. And guess what? I moved out of Los Angeles. 

Self-confidence empowers individuals to take that crucial step from knowing what to do to actually doing it. Without confidence, knowledge remains dormant, but with it, knowledge becomes a powerful tool for success. This is why confidence is frequently cited as a key trait of successful people; it propels them to move beyond the safety of theoretical understanding into the realm of practical application; where real growth and achievements occur. And, unsurprisingly, intuition is therefore also a key trait of successful people. The two go hand in hand. 

When you feel confident, you are more likely to seize opportunities, be successful, negotiate better deals, or go after the job you really want. When you believe in yourself, you are more likely to take calculated risks, like starting a new business, investing in a promising venture, or going after a higher salary or position. Taking bold movies will lead to higher performance, increased productivity, and recognition, all of which are key drivers to financial advancement. 

It's easy to sit here and chat about why confidence and self-esteem are important, but how do we actually cultivate these qualities? The truth is, many of the most successful people I have worked with had very strong intuitions until the day that their source of power left. For example, I worked with a CEO who was making powerful, intuitive decisions that surprised his fellow colleagues time and time again for defying logic, but always being the right choice. When he stopped feeling his intuition when he unexpectedly lost his job. It turned out all the confidence had originated from an external source: his title. 

This is a powerful trap we can fall into when we cultivate that inner knowing through the lens of confidence and trust. We must keep paying attention to what it is that is giving us the root of this power. If it is external, it brings the intuition into jeopardy. 

When I teach my intuition course, I encourage people to tap into their power, life purpose, and confidence from a spiritual source. I ask them to find the thing they consider "larger than themselves.” I ask them to find a spiritual practice. A spiritual practice does not have to be the traditional spiritual path; it can be a reverence for nature. We are all connected to something larger than ourselves that gives us a feeling of wonder. When you connect with a higher power, whether through religion, spirituality, ancestors, nature, or any other personal belief system, you can experience a profound sense of guidance and support.

Finding your power 

For myself, I find nature to be the key to my spiritual practice. We are all children of the earth, and she is there to hold and ground us. Whenever I feel myself getting pessimistic, I look outside my window and marvel at nature’s beauty, and immediately am overcome with gratitude. We so often overlook the magic in the world around us. One of my favorite quotes about gratitude is from Cheryl Stayed’s Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail (7). Cheryl writes, “‘There’s always a sunrise and always a sunset and it’s up to you to choose to be there for it,’ said my mother. ‘Put yourself in the way of beauty.’” It is this sense of awe, and the knowing that I am a part of it, that brings the deeper sense of trust in the unfolding of my life.

Whether you are walking in the woods, gardening, or simply sitting outside, nature can have a profound effect on our minds and bodies. When we connect to the earth, we feel a greater sense of balance and harmony in our own lives. This grounding effect can make us feel more centered and empowered. The spirit body is constantly in communication with everything and everyone. You are an essential part of that universal web. By nurturing our spirit body, we can experience a sense of wholeness and alignment with our true values, beliefs, and desires. 

An additional form of building this self-confidence and connection from an internal source rather than an external one, is the practice of acting in a way that aligns with your values. There’s a quote from Caroline Myss that I absolutely love (8): “Self-esteem is when you act in alignment to what’s true in the deeper self.” At its core, self-esteem involves recognizing and valuing our authentic selves, and intuition serves as a compass that guides us to this authenticity. When we trust our intuition, we are more likely to make decisions that are in line with our passions and goals, leading to greater satisfaction and success. In turn, when things go well, this positive reinforcement loop boosts our self-esteem. It's a beautiful symbiotic relationship, and the more we water it, the more we thrive. 

Self-confidence doesn’t happen overnight, but with practice, we can rewire our brains. Through my intuition course, I help you identify your intuition through six key practices and developing this confidence and self-trust is one of the six. I see it as the last step to a successful intuitive practice, it allows you to act. 

If that's been hard for you, give yourself some grace. It’s ok to be frightened. When I first moved out of Los Angeles, I was doubting myself at every step, but I did it anyway. I followed my intuition, and it ended up being the best decision I’ve ever made. Bravery isn’t about going into the unknown. Bravery is understanding that the unknown is scary, but doing it anyway. 

My job isn’t to give you all the answers, but to give you the tools to find the intuitive answers within yourself. 

If you are currently faced with an intuitive nudge that you're not acting on, here are some helpful hints from my intuition course: Try increasing your self-confidence by identifying your power source (nature, guides, etc.) and creating a relationship with it. A great way to do this is by creating an area in your home where you honor it–perhaps it's an altar, or it could be a plant you marvel at and water daily. Next, take a moment to identify the health of your self-esteem. Do your actions line up with your values? When was the last time you took an action that built self-esteem? 

Works Cited:

1. Rae, A. (2023, April). To Read or Not to Read: The Pros and Cons of Psychic Readings. Retrieved from Medium: https://medium.com/@theintuitioncenter/to-read-or-not-to-read-the-pros-and-cons-of-psychic-readings-e5f08f79d2cc
   

2. Garcia, P. (2015, November). Why Do People Become Addicted to Psychics? Retrieved from Vogue: https://www.vogue.com/article/why-do-people-become-addicted-to-psychics
   

3. Walker, A. C., Fugelsang, J. A., Koehler, D. J., & Turpin, M. H. (2023, January). Intuition speed as a predictor of choice and confidence in point spread predictions. Retrieved from Cambridge University Press: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/judgment-and-decision-making/article/intuition-speed-as-a-predictor-of-choice-and-confidence-in-point-spread-predictions/FF707B6D070E7B7F59D8602294BDABE2
   

4. Pattakos, A. (2024, June). Discovering Meaning Through the Lens of Intuition. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-meaningful-life/202406/discovering-meaning-through-the-lens-of-intuition
   

5. Ordoña, M. (2024, February). How Margot Robbie overcame a ‘palpable and debilitating’ panic to make ‘Barbie’. Retrieved from LA Times: https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/awards/story/2024-02-05/greta-gerwig-margot-robbie-barbie-oscar-nominations

6. Rice, A. (2022, April). Having a ‘Life Purpose’ Is Linked with Better Brain Health, Study Shows. Retrieved from Psych Central: https://psychcentral.com/news/life-purpose-linked-to-better-brain-health
   

7. Strayed, C. (2012). Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. Knopf.
   

8. Myss, C. (2002). Self-Esteem: Your Fundamental Power. Sounds True.