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The Inner Call Podcast

Episode 9: Chris Corsini

Fleur: Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to the Inter Call Podcast. This is Flair. I am thrilled to have you here today because I know that you are very likely interested in manifesting the life of your dreams with plenty of money, plenty of just innate wealth in your social circle, in your life and your happiness.
Fleur: Plenty of goodness. And today's guest really speaks to that, my friend Chris Carsini. I love Chris like truly, truly, truly love Chris. We are actual real life friends. We go get coffee and dinner whenever we can. We're both live in Lisbon. And I have to tell you the reason I wanted him on this podcast as the person to speak to Manifestation is because he like honestly lives it.
Fleur: Toxic walks it. I mean, ways that you could possibly like be the true, authentic representation of manifestation in this world. Chris, is it? So, listen to this podcast guys, like really take a moment, identify some space in your day to really listen in. This is a powerful episode. I cannot speak enough to the realness of watching Chris put these practices into his life and the inspiration for me that I get from listening to Chris.
Fleur: I just really want you guys to hear it, you know? And I think there's something to doing life with friends who are inspiring, and that is who Chris is in my life. So, Send this to a friend or like make plans to talk about some of the topics that we cover in this podcast together because there is a lot of manifestation power in doing it in community and having like an accountability partner, like having somebody that you can talk this out with and point to areas of your life where maybe you are not in a manifestation space, that you are still living in scarcity or fear or worry, and having somebody call you out on that practice, you know, to be like, Hey.
Fleur: We talked about how you're gonna change your life and I'm gonna hold you accountable to it. I really think that's important. So share this with a friend so that you have somebody to do this with and someone who you can speak these words out loud to of like, this is what I'm wanting to create in my life.
Fleur: So by now, you know Chris is very into the manifestation realm, but what he is primarily known for is being a terror reader. He is an Instagram sensation. He does these amazing moon workshops, and he's a very talented musician. He works a lot with the deaf community. He is super accessible in all possible ways to anyone who is wanting to learn the magic behind, behind the Chris.
Fleur: So enjoy this episode. I hope you love it. I had a blast doing this with him, and we did it on Valentine's Day, which felt even more special. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and thanks for being here. Yeah, I wanted just to create my own studio. Cause the windows in are not great, to be honest. 
Chris: No, this looks great. Looks, I wanted to say that, but I was like, I'm not even gonna start talking until we're rolling.
Chris: This is called still better than the Studio. 
Fleur: Thank you. Thank you very much. Your friend Nick did not believe I could do this. 
Chris: Oh, you did this yourself? I did this. This is like pretty well done. 
Fleur: Thank you. Yeah, I thought so. And Nick was like, no, there's no way I gotta see it to believe it
Chris: no, I like that you just super glued.
Chris: A bunch of sound resistant foam to your ceiling. Like don't tell your landlord, but yeah. 
Fleur: Yeah. That's great. I think I'm gonna have to bring in a maintenance person at the end and be like, listen, just replaster it. Like I don't know what to tell you. This is, anyways. Anyways, thanks for being here. 
Chris: Thank you for having me.
Chris: Happy to have you in person. What again? Yeah. Yes. On a new podcast. Look at you. New beginning, new time. 
Fleur: So I know you in many different aspects, friends. And that's such a privilege. 
Chris: So nice. 
Fleur: And then you are also an artist. I would, I would go as far as to call you a spiritual teachers. Cause you've got a lot of eyes on you.
Fleur: Mm-hmm. You know? So people are listening. Yes. I dunno if you actually identify with that 
Fleur: yet. 
Chris: Yeah. I think just as a collective, we need to get away from the like, like we're all each other's teachers. We're all each other's students. But I think to get away from the idea of like the guru on top of the mountain who has all the answer, like I don't think that is really serving anybody.
Chris: I think that we should admire people with wisdom. But yeah, so the idea of looking at myself as like a spiritual teachers, like a little strange, but I think my guides have a lot of good information that they give to me to share. And yeah, I think that some aspect, you could look at me as a teacher. 
Fleur: Well I think you are.
Chris: Thank you. 
Fleur: And yes, I agree. We could take the guru out of it. Cause we all are just walking each other home. 
Chris: Yeah
Fleur: we're all just teaching each other. But how would you describe the work that you do right now as Chris Corsini? Like where's your attention being placed? What is your aim? 
Chris: Truthfully, there's like a huge shift happening.
Chris: I am in such a blessed space where I have like at least 15 different people working with me right now who are really holding down the fort and restructuring things and rebuilding things. And we've been in that process for months now. So I think I'm kind of stepping out of the role of like the contractor, the builder of like all of that stuff, which was like completely necessary and saturn in Aquarius has been very intense for a lot of us. And now Saturn I believe is moving into ics and I actually had an astrology reading yesterday and he was like, you need to dive into your creative self. Like do you do creative stuff? And I was like, I actually do. So I've been freeing up more space for me to dive into the creative aspect of what I do, because for the longest time I've always known like I'm naturally an entertainer.
Chris: I'm a Gemini, I'm a storyteller, as are you. So I know you get that. But growing up I was like a competitive dancer. I was in theater, I was like doing, you know, band practice and like playing like all the bullshit, right? So all creative. All creative, loved it. And then I have a lot of planets in Capricorn that just kind of gives me a really good business head.
Chris: So, Once I got into the spiritual stuff, I figured out how to like monetize that and how to bring in resources, which was beautiful. And then with those resources, we, we redistribute a lot of resources and we will redistribute a lot more wealth as it comes in. But what's beautiful is that it provides me with a level of abundance that lets me create all the fun shit and I don't have to ask for permission.
Chris: And I think a lot of what I've been contracted to do here energetically is to align myself with certain people who will be able to hold my business in a space that we can continue to serve the collective with workshops and tarot and healing modalities and all this beautiful stuff that we are right now planning even more content and even more community outreach and even more collaborations.
Chris: But I don't have to do all that work. I just have to show up and like give my medicine and, and let others give theirs and, and that's beautiful and it's la less time consuming. And so part of the deal is I'm gonna do that. And then with that comes abundance. And then with that abundance allows me to give back and allows me to be creative.
Chris: And then with the creative side of things, it allows me to entertain people. And what better way to attract hoards and hoards of people than with good music and good creative projects and accessibility and inclusion and all that stuff. And yeah, so in a nutshell, I always felt like I am first and foremost an entertainer.
Chris: Secondly, I am apparently an individual who has some wise things to say, and now I get to step back into the creative side of things so that I can really catapult into what I believe will be like a Lady Gaga, Beyonce level of entertainment and creative. Expression that then hooks in millions of people.
Chris: And then also I tell them to go do workshops and I do their tarot cards and I do all this shit. And like collectively we have like a massive global impact throughout the universe that has just felt on so many different levels. So yeah, I've always had that vision 
Fleur: because I wanted, that was exactly where I wanna go with this.
Fleur: Your vision, because when I first met you, I wanna say one of the first times, maybe second time, I don't know, but you came to my apartment and we sat outside on the balcony and Daniela was there. 
Chris: Yeah
Fleur: and I remember you telling me about this vision of the Beyonce of, and I gotta say, my first reaction, I was like, 
Fleur: huh.
Fleur: Who's this 
Fleur: dude who thinks he's gonna be the next Beyonce? I'm like, ok. 
Chris: Oh my God. 
Fleur: But then I quickly was like, wait, there's actually very little ego behind 
Fleur: this, which was, 
Chris: no, it's just fun, 
Fleur: refreshing. 
Chris: Yeah. And I don't think comparatively, to use Beyonce as like an incredibly talented and gifted black woman is probably not the best comparison.
Chris: So I want to acknowledge that. But the level of impact that she holds is what I am referring to, and having that level of influence on the world is what I believe on some level I am capable of. And I think that comes with diversity and inclusion and accessibility and all of the things that I love to create with the deaf community. With the black community, with the Asian community, with like we, we collaborate with all shapes and sizes and colors and, and it's so fun to have so many different perspectives. So, 
Chris: but 
Fleur: still, like your vision is super clear and, and I agree. It doesn't really matter who you're comparing yourself to. Cuz that was just, I was like, what?
Fleur: But I think for me it was more of, it really inspired me because you had no playing small energy. 
Chris: Hmm. 
Fleur: There's no playing small to you. You are gonna be yourself and you're gonna create and you're gonna put yourself out there completely. Which means high
Fleur: risk, high reward, 
Chris: and yeah, I, that just gave me chills.
Chris: I love that you finished that with high risk, high reward. Because there is high risk with being authentically you in a world that wants you to be part of them, or part of us, or part of it, or part of whatever we have created to be the thing that we should be. And to kind of just say, fuck that. And to be like, that just doesn't feel aligned with me.
Chris: And to be like, I want to break out of that mold and show other people how to break out of that mold. And the only way I can do that is if I unleash myself from all of that and, and be an example of it, which is what I've done through my own personal work. But then later through my workshops and through my tarot readings and through, you know, my podcast and all the other things that we do.
Chris: And it's just like for us to be able to deconstruct ourselves and. Really just crack open the like layers that everything and everyone has put on us to crack that open and to step out of that and to be like, I just like doing this. This feels aligned for me. This feels right for me. And that's why like without a fraction of a doubt in my mind, do I think that like my music at some point will be wildly successful.
Chris: Just like even when I say that I'm not even nervous or scared or intimidated by it, I'm just like, I respect that. I respect that that feels right and I respect that. That will bring in a lot of people. And then those people will want to hear what I have to say and then they'll probably be interested in the tarot, which leads them to the workshops, which leads 'em to self-discovery and healing.
Chris: And it like all just comes back to them. So like, yeah, I don't think, I don't know when it's gonna happen. I don't really care when it's gonna happen. I don't know if maybe my tarot blows up even more first and whatever, but all I know is like, Creating things feels good to me. And like after we put out that Christmas song, I wrote the most ridiculous Christmas song called Good List, bad Bitch.
Chris: And like that song this week, where're, when are we shooting this? It's what, February? Mid-February. It's Valentine's Day, actually.
Fleur: It's Valentine's Day. You're my 
Chris: Mi amore. Yeah. That song this week had like 850 saves and downloads and I was just like, wait, what? This is a fucking Christmas song. It's like, it doesn't even make sense.
Chris: So like, I just, I see that happening, I see the numbers growing. Like now we have almost 14,000 monthly listeners, so I'm just like, oh shit. 
Fleur: I wanna come back to this idea of a very clear vision and the workshops that you do around manifestation and how manifestations played a role in your own life.
Fleur: Because one thing that feels very clear to me in interacting with you is exactly what you said. Like I, I almost want people to know how authentically real it is. It's not a show. You're not going out saying, Hey, this is something I feel very strongly about expressing in the world, and this is how I wanna express it.
Fleur: And everything that you show, I believe on your Instagram is actually a very transparent reflection of who you truly are from who I know you as. So it's not a, you're not walking the walk or talking the talk like you are doing it. So what does that look like for you when you're manifesting these huge 
Fleur: goals?
Chris: I think it's just important to be present or as present as you can with being in the vibration of what it is that you are calling into your life on the dimensional plane that we live in. I think it's important to, like, I know on some level. That, you know, I am a multimillionaire and like that just resonates and emits the frequency from everything that I am.
Chris: So that calls in more money, which allows me to do other things. I know that I am healthy. I'm not questioning it and like, yeah, I still have, of course, my human conditioned mind, my fear-based ego, my protection mechanism. Like I have all the shit. But if you can stay focused on like I know that my music is going to be successful and not that it's going to be, I know my music already is successful and what is so incredible now is that Igor, for example, the content producer that I work with, who helps me with a lot of different things.
Chris: He's shot a bunch of our music videos, he's helping us with all this Instagram content and just editing and all this stuff for both music and for my taro. When we sit down and talk. The conversations we're having are like, and he even says this, he's like, we're not doing this. Like one day you will be famous.
Chris: One day you'll be like, we're doing it now because you are already a star. We just are waiting for more people to recognize that, like those people will show up. So I think part of manifesting what it is that you want is just undoubtedly living in that energy of it. And of course it comes with like, is it really truly part of what you are called to be doing on a soul level?
Chris: Because like also if you look at my astrology chart, like it also talks about like public persona, creativity. Like there's a lot of things in there that. Even me just being, you know, well known, quote unquote for my tarot and my workshops. Like it kind of shows up in my chart that way. So like there is something that is innately aligned there for me.
Chris: And I think that if that is innately aligned for you and you feel that really, truly internally and you're just living in the energy of it consistently, then it's going to manifest faster than you probably expect, maybe in a different way than you expect. But it's just that consistency and that comes with with everything I am like, not somebody who has a really easy time like getting up and not going on my phone or like scrolling or like watching something on Netflix before bed, like that type of thing. I need to get into, um, a better routine with just because I also know what'll help ground me more. And the more grounded I am, the more I can pull into my field, which is also good.
Chris: And I think it's a little bit of a self sabotage thing because I'm like, oh my God, my life is already a little bit crazy at times. And I think going from like, you know, 3000 followers to like 560,000 followers in like less than two years has like really kind of shook me on my nervous system. So there's a part of me that is like, I know what I need to do to get to that next level of like intense expansion and reach.
Chris: But then part of me is like, well let's not do those things because like, oh my God, this was already intense. You know what I mean? But that being said, I didn't have like a huge company that worked well, not huge, but like, 15 or 16 people with a lot of people that like work with you now. You know what I mean?
Chris: I didn't have that many people holding me and helping me before. So I'm also trying to retrain my nervous system and say like, no, it is okay to expand and it is okay to receive more now and it is okay to be in front of more people now. And with that comes, yeah, the need for a new routine, more grounding techniques, obviously more alone time.
Chris: Like I'm a full-time job and that's why I love my COO Lana. She is like, your whole job is just to take care of yourself. That is 80% of what your week should look like. Like if you need X, Y, or Z, do it. Give yourself that because we are taking care of everything else. And you need to be really aligned so that you can be in flow in your creative space so that you can actually show up and deliver when it's time to deliver.
Chris: And like I've never had people around me, even my childhood was a little volatile and like I went through. My family broke up at a young age, like a lot of things happened there and my relationships following that similar sort of volatility. And I just, I've never really truly had a, a space where I had people around me who really were like, no, you can settle here. You are safe here. And like, not to say that I didn't feel that at times in my life I have. And like my mother was, you know, an incredible support and everything. Like I'm not trying to negate any of that, but to be in a position now where I have people around me being like, we are going to hold you and like really hold you so that you can just be you.
Chris: It's like I get so emotional cause it's like I get this opportunity to like let my inner child out again and like that
Chris: I know what the fuck, like, pass me your soft dog. No, like that is where now I get a step back into the creativity and I don't need to ask for permission. I don't even need to ask for money. I don't have to ask for fucking anything. I don't even need to ask for a platform to show it on. You know what I mean?
Chris: Like, I, there is nothing holding me back anymore. So that is why I find the level of, I've been sitting in this for so long, and you can ask Daniella, like, Daniella has been my roommate and one of my best friends, um, sorry, has been one of my best friends for years, was my roommate for a while in Toronto.
Chris: And like, she used to see me when I had like $50 to my name and I like couldn't even afford to buy gas or my phone bill. And I would be like crying, trying to like figure out how I'm gonna pay for this shit. And I would just keep saying like, it doesn't even matter. I'm a fucking millionaire. It doesn't even matter.
Chris: I'm so fucking rich. And I would just like pay for things and I'd be like, these are just pennies. Like my $300 phone bill that I couldn't afford. I'd be like, doesn't matter. Trump chain. And like now, like I literally manifest like all of that. Like I don't. And it's just because I, for so long I've been like, doesn't even matter.
Chris: Doesn't even matter. Doesn't even matter. I'm so this, I'm so this. And I just felt it. And it's like I feel that with my music, I feel that with everything that I'm creating, it's like it really is authentic. And it's not because I wanna be famous, it's because I want to make the highest possible impact down the road of least resistance.
Chris: And that. Is truly what I want because I also have good medicine and good resources for people and I want to be a fucking billionaire so that I can donate a hundred and ninety nine, ninety 9 million of it. Like I don't even know what the majority of a billion is cause it's a big ass number. But like I'll, yeah, trust me, I will treat myself.
Chris: I will like, you know, I'll keep 10 mil for myself, but like the rest of that billion dollars bitch, like give it to everybody. I don't give a shit, you know? So. Yeah. And that's real, like that is, I have like five planets in cancer. Like I'm all about giving, you know. So 
Fleur: you are actually, because you truly are one of the most generous people I know. And it is, it's true. Like, 
Chris: yeah, I love to give
Fleur: I see it. 
Fleur: You are a giver. And that makes me excited about prosperity around you because I know that it's not just a talk. 
Chris: No, it's not. 
Fleur: And absolutely give
Chris: and people like you who really know me and the people that work for me who are in our meetings and hear me talk about what we're doing and the people who are on the receiving end of the charities that we're giving to the, and like we already donate quite a bit of money, like if mm-hmm.
Chris: Regardless of like the amounts, but like we donate funds and to know that like when I do that, I get off on it. Like me giving somebody $5,000, I get off on it, I get so excited about it. And then what it also does, which I get so excited about, is that it's like my team then sees that and they're all like, oh wow, we just donated this money.
Chris: How beautiful. And like they reinforce the energy field around me of like abundance coming to me so I can pour it back out. And like, I pay everybody very fairly, like I. You know, so it's like the more people that believe and see that like when it comes in, it goes out, the more comes in. And like, I think that's really important.
Chris: Even on Uber Eats, like every time I order something, I always tip like 20%. And every single time I hit 20%, I say abundance for everyone. Abundance for everyone. Because I'm like, you know, five euros is a lot to some people and I've got enough to order Uber Eats, I can also tip on it. You know what I mean?
Chris: Like that guy's running around, dropping off my food or whomever they are, and like I appreciate that and that's beautiful. But also if I can give to them, why would I not give a little extra when I know that there is so much abundance that's gonna come back to me tenfold anyways so that I can do this again to 10 more people.
Chris: So I think when people get outta the scarcity mindset that we have literally been conditioned to be in, because when we're in scarcity, we're in fear. When we're in fear, we're easily controlled when we like it all comes back to control and access and resources and separation and all that sort of shit.
Chris: But like our natural state is abundance. Our natural state is just flow and ease. And I have made it very clear to my guides and to the universe that I am willing to be an example of that so that more can come to me. So I can give more so that everybody can be like, holy shit, if he can do it, I can do it.
Chris: Which is like, yeah, you literally can, that's like, I'm just an example of that. You know what I mean? So, yeah. Yeah. I think that gets me really excited to like give money away and like help people. Like I love that. 
Fleur: And it's true. I've seen it. I've witnessed it. 
Chris: Yeah. It's nice. 
Fleur: Yeah. It's authentic. It's, it's true, true, true.
Fleur: Okay, so however I wanna bring you back. You got $50 to your name. 
Chris: Okay. 
Fleur: This abundant mindset was there Absolutely. From the time what. Like what happens that makes you go, ah, I see the scarcity that everyone else is living in and I don't wanna live in it. 
Chris: Yeah, that was, I mean, I was just coming out of like a really dark time in my life, a really bad relationship.
Chris: I had a bunch of like crazy health things happen. I was like using a lot of drugs, drinking a lot, having like random sex, overeating shut. Like I was just like chasing pleasure and avoiding pain at all times. And I think I got to this breaking point where I remember being somewhere and just looking around and being like, this is not my fucking life.
Chris: I don't wanna be around these people. And it's not even a judgment for where they're at, but just their behavior reflecting back to me who I am in their space, and me being like, I don't want to be this person. Had me just be like, oh my God, I need to get out of this. And then the transition out of that probably took a year and a half or two years.
Chris: Like that transition is terrifying because you're also going against all of your quote unquote friends. You're fighting your mind, you're fighting your habits, you're fighting your natural impulses. Not even that, they're like fully natural impulses, but like the hardwired impulses that you've created out of like trauma response or out of whatever.
Chris: It's like the tools that got me through my trauma were no longer needed, but I was still acting on them. And I think when I began to recognize that, which is when I really started to watch astrology, I met someone at this clinic who was doing reiki, and he took me under his wing and was like, my guides are telling me that I should work with you.
Chris: So if you're interested, like here's my card. It was his last day. Something inside me after that Reiki experience, which was like just this crazy experience for me. It was my first experience ever with energy work. I was like, I need to call this guy, like something inside of me is just curious about it.
Chris: And that person Don, Donald Church, who's like still one of my best friends, he's like a 70 year old gay man who lives in like Saskatoon and he is just like wildly gifted. He cracked me open and kind of like let in a little bit of the light and then I was like, oh, this feels good. This feels right.
Chris: Although I need to like untangle so much of the web that I have weaved over so many years of drama response and avoidance and all this shit. But like, yeah, at that time towards the tail end of that I was, when I met Daniella, we were both bartending and then I moved in with her and it was kind of again, like the darkest before the dawn.
Chris: Type vibe where I was just like, what the fuck am I doing wrong? Why am I still here? Why am I still struggling? Why am I still, and it's just because the external world had not cut up with me yet. And I think that is so important. If there's like, one thing to really take away from this podcast is like the external world will be the last thing to match your internal feelings.
Chris: And when you finally receive externally what you've been feeling internally, internally, you are already beyond it. So like what is manifesting in your life right now in this moment is what you were trying to manifest, let's say six months ago and now you have it. So where you are now energetically, emotionally, mentally, and what you're calling in, it's probably not gonna show up for another six months based on like the astrological cycles.
Chris: Especially if you're doing like new moon, full moon stuff, let's say, because you've got a six month cycle there. For things to really either come to full culmination to realize you wanna release it, or to kind of get like, you know, a little bit of a trick or treat from the universe that's like, here's a little candy, it is coming.
Chris: Do you see this growing? It's like it's sprouts, but it's not fully there. But like yeah, we're always, we are always energetically ahead of what we are physically experienced. 
Fleur: So what is your, because I have my own philosophies on this, 
Chris: please. Yeah
Fleur: absolutely. I'm like, yes, yes, yes. I think if you're paying too much attention back, you lose a lot of power in the internal feedback.
Chris: Totally. 
Fleur: So that's incredible. I love how you place that. But I'm wondering how you, what is your explanation for how things manifest to begin with if you have one? 
Chris: I think there's a level of, again, alignment that is needed. If you feel on some level that you really wanna manifest something and it's not showing up, then there's two things that I think are the issue that you need to reflect on.
Chris: One, do you really want it or do you think you want it because someone's telling you you want it? Or because you have an ego-driven aspect of yourself that tells you when you get this, you'll feel better. Or when you get this your whole, or when you get this, you check the box. Or like, what is the driver?
Chris: That is gonna be a huge issue for a lot of people. The second thing they're bringing to my attention to share is shadow work is like if it shows up and you haven't done any shadow work to receive it, then you're just not gonna hold it because you are literally not a vibrational match. So like, you want the job, you want the job, you want the job, you want the job, you want the job.
Chris: And you just pray and you make the board and you like fake it till you make it. And like, great, whatever. That's great. But if you are not diving in and clearing out all the bullshit that is energetically traumatically, physically, emotionally telling you that you don't deserve that fucking job. And, and who do you think you are to really make more money?
Chris: And like money doesn't grow on trees or like, you know, your parents lived in scarcity for so long and like nobody around you is happy. Why do you deserve happiness? Or like whatever the fucking story is in your mind that needs to be purged, like purged, emotionally purged, physically I'm hearing from the body.
Chris: So maybe sweating plant medicine if you are interested in that and you do it safely. Um, like there's different ways of quite literally purging it from the body. But if you're not emotionally, physically, uh, And obviously most importantly, energetically purging these old programs from your body. A, it's not going to show up because you're so resistant to it, or B, it's gonna take a hell of a lot longer.
Chris: Or C, when it finally does show up by some glitch in the matrix, it's like you can't hold it and then you fucking lose it and then you just wasted all of your time manifesting something that you can't hold cuz you're not doing any shadow work. It's like, this is where I think people get into the loop of why isn't it showing up?
Chris: Or like, it's kind of here but it's not really here. Or like maybe they're not specific enough with the, you know, vibration of what they're calling in. I also think, and this is coming through as well, is that like a lot of people, I want this job, I want that person, I want this car. And there are certain things that I would say, sure, if you really wanna manifest that car, Go for it.
Chris: Get that car on your dream board, but when you wanna manifest this job or this amount of money, or this person, drop the description, drop the visualization of it, drop any of that shit that is actually limiting your potential and sit in meditation. Holding the vibration of how you feel when you have it and beyond like that is going to draw something to you much faster because your body is literally a radio station that is emitting a frequency.
Chris: So if you can hold the frequency of like, oh, and this is what I used to do, it's like, I feel so good because I am so financially abundant that I can share. I feel so healthy that I can just move my body. I feel so creative that I can flow. I know that people are listening and that I'm helping people, and it's like, this is what I want and more.
Chris: And like sitting in that energy of just like, Not thinking I wanna help these specific people. No, I'm just knowing that I'm helping people. Am I helping a hundred, a thousand, a hundred million? I don't know. I just know I'm helping people and the universe is gonna be like, yes, you are. Here are more people.
Chris: You know what I mean? So it's like stop limiting yourself with what you wanna manifest and prioritize the feeling you want to manifest, because that in itself is going to be matched. And if you are manifesting a feeling, then who gives a shit what car you get or what money shows up or who shows up?
Chris: Because you're gonna get that feeling from it and you're gonna be like, oh my God, this is probably even better than I imagined. Do you know what I mean? So that mixed with the shadow work, mixed with the like consistency of holding the vibration of like, oh, I've got it. This is so great. And it's not, I am manifesting, it's I've manifested, I have it.
Chris: I feel it like I'm paying my bill. My last $50 doesn't even fucking matter cuz I'm literally a millionaire. So I don't give a shit if this my last $50. So I have money everywhere and then I go home and I eat ramen again for three weeks. You know what I mean? It's like, that's fine. While I eat it, I'm like, I'm still a millionaire.
Chris: I don't even care. Like I used to go to Gucci and be like, I would just try things on. And then they'd be like, so can I, like, can I, you know, cash anything out for you? And I'd be like, no. Later, no. Literally I'd be like, no, I'm gonna come back. Yeah, I'm gonna come back for this. I just, I'm not gonna grab it right now.
Chris: And they'd always be like, oh, okay. Or I'd like just go walk around through like, you know, the expensive neighborhoods and just get myself in the energy of it. And like, I was like Gucci last week, bought my dog a whole new outfit, new leash, new collar new. 
Chris: They were sitting there 
Fleur: that Craig has got it going on.
Chris: Oh, you should see my dog now. He looks fucking gorgeous. But it's like, that's cuz I was in the energy for so long. The energy loves me. Gucci loves me, money loves me, you know what I mean? Like, and you. Yeah, we're all Gucci now. It's like, so yeah, you just, you call it it in and And you build a new relationship with it.
Chris: I don't look at it anything anymore, like, Ooh. Or like sometimes I see like my followers drop a thousand or something. Like, oh, I guess people didn't like that. I don't give a shit. I loved it. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's less about them. It's less about external. It's about how I feel about it, how I feel about Gucci, how I feel about people.
Chris: If you look at Gucci like, oh my God, this is so fucking expensive. No, it isn't. It's not expensive when you're a billionaire. It's not expensive when you're a millionaire. It's not expensive when you're anybody really. It's like your concept of money needs to change. And I know that's harder. It's easier said than done when people are like, well fucking tell me that when I have $12 in my bank.
Chris: But it's like, I've literally had $12 in my bank and I still walked into Gucci and was just like, I can do this. Like, this is great. Yeah, this is fun. This is easy. Like try things on, you know, it's like, It's hard to shift that, and I'm not trying to negate that, but it's like it gets easier and then the money will start flowing.
Chris: You'll start getting opportunities to make money. You'll find $2 on the street. And that's the other thing, if you find a quarter on the street, don't walk by it. The universe just put a fucking quarter in front of you. If you're not gonna receive a quarter, why would they give you a million? It doesn't make any sense.
Chris: Like I just put money in front of you and you walked by it. You're like scoffing at the like what? Or if you have a dollar, throw it to the guy who's asking for a dollar. You know what I mean? I bought a homeless guy a whole pack of cigarettes today and I was like, there you go. And he looks at me like, holy shit.
Chris: And that guy has now just energetically projected onto me, holy shit, this guy has money. He just gave me a whole pack of cigarettes. How beautiful is that? And I was like, I wouldn't normally buy somebody cigarettes, but this man lives like near my house and asks for cigarettes know that he wants every day.
Chris: Like I saw him at the cafe and she was even like, he only asks for smokes, like he doesn't want food. So anyways, I don't suggest buying cigarettes, but. 
Fleur: I mean, who cares? You? He, it made him happy. 
Chris: Oh, he loved it. 
Fleur: Loved it. That's what he wanted. He manifested that for himself. 
Chris: He literally did. He keeps smoking and he keeps asking, and like, there it is.
Chris: It dropped right in his lap 
Fleur: Who are we to say no to that. Well, it makes me, it makes me think as you were of times where I've manifested things mm-hmm. And times when I haven't. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: So you've given me a lot to think about. I'm curious as to what was maybe the first manifestation for you that was like, whoa, that's wild. Because I'll give you mine as like a while you're thinking. Yeah. Um, it's, it's for me, the places where I have manifested most easily is where I live, so, 
Chris: okay. 
Fleur: This apartment's great, right? 
Chris: Yeah. Beautiful apartment. 
Fleur: It's an amazing 
Chris: love this apartment. 
Fleur: And when I was writing my list for my Lisbon apartment, everyone was like, you can't find that in Lisbon.
Fleur: You're right. 
Chris: Look at you now. 
Fleur: This list of stuff in this apartment is not available in Lisbon. 
Chris: Fair enough. Yeah. 
Fleur: Really isn't. That that terrace? The elevator. 
Chris: That bathtub. 
Fleur: Like, come on, no one has a bathtub. 
Chris: The fact that you even have an elevator and only three floors blows my mind. But yeah, 
Fleur: it's crazy. So that really what unquote lucky, but I had always had this feeling of I can manifest any place if I just know what I'm gonna feel like.
Fleur: Because of two examples of my life. I lived in Los Angeles for 13 years and there's this hike that was about 45 minutes away from me, but it would be the place where I would go if I needed some peace and rest. 
Chris: Mm-hmm. 
Fleur: And like needed to connect, would drive to this hike, Puna Canyon, and I would pass this house that was the last house before you get to the hike.
Fleur: And I'd be like, man, this is amazing. And I did that for probably like eight years without any thought of wanting to be there or live there or anything. Fast forward to, and this talks about like manifestation in progress. About five years into this process, I read for a woman and I, she leaves and she comes, whatever. I don't think anything of her. She turns out to be the mother of a woman who lives in that house. 
Chris: What? That is so random. 
Fleur: So two years after I worked for the mom, the daughter's like, Hey, would you come hang for us in the house? And I was like, sure. So I go to the house. We really connect over the years, we become friends.
Fleur: Now if I'm in Los Angeles, she's like, Hey, we have a whole second property on this ranch that's right next to the hike. And I stay in the house when I go to los Angeles. 
Chris: That is wild. 
Fleur: For free. She's amazing. 
Chris: That is wild. 
Fleur: Yes. And it is amazing. It is like it is my most peaceful, magical place in all of Los Angeles.
Chris: I can imagine. 
Fleur: Yeah. 
Chris: It's a fucking ranch. 
Fleur: It's a ranch. 
Chris: Can I come? 
Fleur: Yes, you can come. Like she. And she is, she's just as generous as you are and she is a hundred percent all of that manifestation energy and is just like a treasure to have in my life. But for me it was such a manifestation story. There was no like intention around that. 
Chris: Right
Fleur: it was me just being like, God, I love this place and I wish I could come here whenever I needed it. 
Fleur: You know? 
Chris: And think of how light that experience is for you to not put so much pressure on yourself to get it, to not think of how, how could I ever even afford a house like this? Why would I even, it's like you didn't put anything in your way. You weren't setting up your own speed bumps. And so many people set up their own speed bumps when like Venus is in Pisces right now, which is all like dream big and get dreamy and like. We're moving into a space where Jupiter's gonna be moving signs soon. It, it's like we're getting into fucking dream big energy and like, just go after it and feel it and express it and enjoy it and let it find you. And it will, and people are so conditioned to be like, but I can't. Or, but it won't. And it's like, okay, well then it won't. Yeah. Like then it won't, it won't end. 
Fleur: And as part of that story, I realized, looking back, it was being worked on. 
Chris: Totally. 
Fleur: Like the mom showed up with me having no connection. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: You know, universe, if you will, was like, Hey, we are working on that.
Chris: Yes. 
Fleur: Just give us a moment. 
Chris: Exactly. The, the 3D needs to catch up. 
Fleur: Yes. 
Chris: With the internal, every time you walk by you're like, love this. I feel so at home here, this is wild. And then it's like, This lady comes knocking at your door, who owns the house or whatever. Like that's just, yeah, you need to allow the space to, and again, that's just removing the roadblocks, that's doing the shadow work around self-doubt.
Chris: And then it's also just being open to like, maybe you didn't actually wanna do that reading, for example, but somebody was like, no, I think you have space. I think you, we could fit it in your schedule. And instead of you being like, no, I don't wanna do it, you're just like, you know what? Let's just do it.
Chris: Whatever. Like you were just in a space of flow and then like the connection happens and then it leads to the next. You know what I mean? And it's like being in that space of flow and being curious and excited about your curiosity about like, oh, where is this gonna lead me to? And sometimes it doesn't lead you to what you want, but sometimes it leads you to the person who's gonna lead you to what you want, or it brings you to an environment.
Chris: And nothing happens. But then you remember that environment and you go back, you know, a month later, and then you meet somebody in that space. And it, it's like the way that your guides are connecting the dots on the other side energetically, typically looks nothing like how we think it will look. So for us to then take control, get in our own way, create self doubt, get impatient, fall out of our vibration, and go back into this like, ma, ma, ma ma, it's like, you're not doing anybody favors on the other side.
Chris: They're looking at you like, can you just fuck off for a second? Like, gimme a minute. It's like, you know, Rome wasn't built in a day. Like, let us organize this. Give it a couple weeks, give it a couple months. Maybe you need a couple years, maybe you need more fucking shadow work, cuz we're really trying and you keep pushing the frequency away from you.
Chris: You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, it, it's gonna, it's gonna take the time that it takes and if it's meant for you, it will not miss you. And the more inflow you are, The more ease they can throw things sort of in your stream. You know what I mean? And it can come towards you and, and I think people just get in their own way a lot.
Chris: And I've done that. I did that for years. I did that for probably 25 or 26 years of just like constantly blocking my own shit with, or also with just like bad habits. It's like stop drinking so much, stop drinking so much alcohol and intentionally escaping whatever you're needing to experience so that you can process.
Chris: So that's the quote, unquote shadow work, let's say. But instead of doing the work, you're just gonna go out and have another drink. But then when you're having a drink, part of you is like, Ugh, should I even be here drinking? Why am I drinking again? Why am I doing drugs again? Why am I doing this again? Why am I hanging out with these people again?
Chris: And it's like you're constantly putting yourself in a vibrational sequence of low vibrational energy. You're constantly putting yourself in a habitual space of people who are not manifesting their deepest desires. Why the fuck would I want to hang around somebody who really, truly believes that abundance is hard so that they can get that shit on me?
Chris: No, I don't want that. I'm okay to step into space with them and I can respect where they're at, and if I feel called to share something that I think will be received, then I'll do it. But like I'm telling you right now, I'm not spending more than 10% of my time with anybody who is in like, you know, complete opposition of like the things I believe in.
Chris: And I don't mean like we all have to think the same, but I mean on a core level, like I know you Fleur believe that abundance does come with ease. I know that you believe if you're in flow, good things come to you, that you trust your intuition. I wanna be around you. I like the conversations we have about like investments you wanna make or the people that you're hiring.
Chris: It's like that is a good vibration for me. That is a good energy for me to engage in. I like talking to people who are like, my company just made seven figures this month. And I'm like, fuck yes you did, bitch. And I'm not jealous because there's enough for my company to do that too. And there's enough for all of us to do that.
Chris: It's like they're fucking printing money in the United States at any given time. It's like, I wanna be around those conversations. I don't want to be around people who are like, eh, life is hard. Like I know life is hard. It's hard for everybody and it's all relative, but also like, and I don't wanna also negate privilege and all that stuff and like, I'm also a white cis, I'm a gay man.
Chris: So like, yeah, that's obviously been an issue and you know, there's a lot of other things going on, but I just, I do recognize privilege and access and I think that part of my mission is to bring that back into balance. I have a Libra rising, so it's like literally what I'm called to do to some degree. But on every.
Chris: Level individually, regardless of access or privilege or any of it. Because I know a lot of rich white people, quote unquote, who are fucked right up and are constantly, maybe they have money cause it was inherited or they got lucky, but they're like, they're either losing it, they're disinvesting it, they're spiraling in every which way.
Chris: They're a fucking mess. They're all doped up on different, um, medication. It, it's like, and not to judge people for taking medications and all that stuff. I'm just saying it's like it's all relative to where we're at. And each individual person can make a decision every day to be like, I'm not gonna feed into this train of thought.
Chris: And instead I'm going to intentionally align myself with a different train of thought to change my physical experience. And that may take time. 
Fleur: Yeah. 
Chris: And that may be a longer time for some people, but like it's possible. 
Fleur: Yeah. Let's talk shadow work cuz you've mentioned it. And it took me aha minute to figure out what people were talking about when they were talking about shadow.
Chris: Yeah. 
Fleur: It was like in the shadow, 
Fleur: like, 
Chris: dare shut the lights off and just like do some pushups. 
Fleur: What, what are we doing with the shadow work? So what has been your experience? So shadow work, I've done my own work now, 
Chris: obviously. Yeah. 
Fleur: But, and I have my own opinions on what shadow work is, but I'd, I'd love to hear 
Fleur: it from you.
Chris: I think shadow work just involves us acknowledging, accepting, working, through, working with, and integrating with a heightened awareness, all the parts of ourselves that typically fall into lower vibrational behaviors or thought patterns. So the idea of like, I'm not good enough does, I'm not good enough stem from my abandonment issues from when my family broke up and I took on the responsibility of thinking it was my fault or I couldn't do enough, or I'm the, and I was at a young age and impressionable and, or where does it come from? I don't know. So I'm gonna meditate. I'm gonna journal, I'm gonna ask the universe to guide me.
Chris: I'm going to work with therapists with reiki healers. I'm going to do taro or astrology or you know, you just dive into the esoteric tools that we have. You dive into psychosomatic tools, you dive into physical breath work. You dive in, like there's a thousand modalities. See which one tickles your fancy and, and start there.
Chris: You know what I mean? I think shadow work is recognizing that sometimes life just fucking sucks and it's okay to be like, that really hurt me and I'm just gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. The deepest level of cry that I have and like, I have five planets in cancer, well, four and my son is a progressed cancer. So like 
Fleur: that's a deep cry.
Chris: That is a deep cry. That is an ancestral cry. That is a cry for the people. That is a cry for the divine feminine. That is a cry for like the abuse of like the earth. That is a cry Like I, when I, and for a long time I didn't let myself go there, but like sometimes if I do like a solo like psilocybin journey for example, which I love to do, um, not necessarily promoting that if, you know, whatever, um, not suggesting anything.
Chris: But I enjoy that at times and the level of pain that I have felt for even siblings or my parents, the level of. Pain that I have allowed myself to experience to quite literally purge it out of my energetic, emotional, and physical body has created so much space for me to expand. And you can only expand as far outward as you have expanded internally.
Chris: You can only go as high up as you have gone down. And I think that is what honestly makes me a good quote unquote teacher makes me, um, somebody who has things to say that I think people resonate with because I have literally been there. Maybe not to the same degree because we don't share the same gender or cultural norms or race or any of that stuff, but like if we were to sit down and you were to tell me something that you've been through, I could hold space for that because I can see that.
Chris: On some level with a different experience, we have experienced a similar level of pain, whether or not that was inflicted, you know, in different ways by whomever or however, or whatever. Like, I'm not talking about specifics and this is where people, you know, sort of get all lost in like language and, and semantics and all that stuff.
Chris: I'm not talking about any of that. I'm talking about like a feeling. And yeah, I think diving into those feelings that are murky, that are dark, that are highly sexual, that are repetitive and addictive in behavioral patterns that are, you know, I've been there. I've had like the sexual, um, Debauchery. I've had the like impulsivity, I've had like the addiction to like pleasure.
Chris: I've had the addiction to like the highs and the lows and the, the drinking and the shopping. Like I've gone through it. So like I know that it's there and it's very real and that'll work. As acknowledging that and also saying, I don't need to act out in those ways to feel whatever it is that I am lacking in that moment, that is going to be a short-lived experience by grabbing externally these things.
Chris: Instead, what I need to do is actually go and sit down, and this is where like tantric work comes in, which is like people think tantra is all like sex, and it's like, yeah, if you can have. Patrick sex, like sign up for it because like, 
Fleur: sign up for it. 
Chris: Oh, I'm also taking applications. 
Fleur: It's Valentine's Day, 
Chris: right?
Chris: Yeah. No, I'm taking applications for any tantric sex partners. Seriously though. But like tantra in its, you know, sort of simplistic approach, I would say is just like, I'm in a space, I see that there's these two friends and that's my best friend. And the best friend has another friend who shows up and all of a sudden I feel left out, feel abandoned.
Chris: I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel judgmental. I feel insecure. I, I, instead of just grabbing a glass of wine or laughing it off or pushing it down, I'm gonna actually sit with that and just let that move through me. Cuz it's an emotion, it's energy in motion. So I'm letting it move through me and then I'm going to sit with it longer if I can.
Chris: I'm gonna try to later reflect on it and bring myself back into it. Cuz like, again, time and space is not real, right? It's a whole other conversation. But like, I'm going to go sit on my yoga mat or in my bed and I'm going to meditate myself back into that experience and I'm gonna let all of that shit come up.
Fleur: Yeah. And I think that's, so my biggest shadow work that I've done to date, I came out of that with such a realization that I had thought. I was unpacking stuff. 
Chris: Mm. 
Fleur: But what I had been doing, was it having a giant backpack, taking out all the pieces, looking at them and then being like, Ooh, that's too much. Putting it all back in there. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: Putting it back on. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: And then being like, why isn't this working? 
Chris: Why is my backpack so heavy? 
Fleur: It's so heavy 
Chris: and it's getting heavier. Cuz I'm seeing it. 
Fleur: Yes. 
Chris: So then it's like, not only it's a big backpack and it's heavy and you're pulling things out and seeing what you need to do, then you're also carrying the awareness that you need to do something with it and you are not doing it.
Chris: So now there's even like a subconscious guilt and shame around it. So now you're actually just packing more shit into the backpack. Like when you find it, sit with it, you know? 
Fleur: Well, and and I had thought that I was doing that in that I had thrown all the modalities at it, but I realized that it was in the fear of going beyond what I thought I con could control emotionally. 
Chris: Right
Fleur: right. It was like, Ooh, this is overwhelming. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: I can't do it. I can't take it. I'm putting it all back. 
Chris: And what, in that moment was the, like, just the feeling of it being like, Ooh, this is making me so upset. I'm just gonna cap it. Or like, what was it?
Fleur: It was never, it, 
Fleur: it was like the depth of it was grief. I've been swimming in this, and it wasn't until I was at a retreat where I had people who like held me. Mm-hmm. And there was a safety aspect, but also a bit of like a you're not turning back. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: You know
Chris: like, turn the tap on. 
Fleur: Yeah. 
Chris: Yeah. 
Fleur: And i, and I cried so hard I couldn't walk 
Chris: good. 
Fleur: Like I was like crying and couldn't get up and you know, all the, but it was that moment where I was like, oh, that's the shadow work. 
Chris: Yeah. That is you literally really Yeah. Stepping into the experience of it. 
Fleur: Yeah. Like I felt like I was dying, you know? 
Chris: For sure. 
Fleur: And not that everybody has to do like the extremes of it.
Fleur: I think also our work kind of wears, like you said, the extremes. 
Chris: Yeah. Plus you're also an empath, so like you really probably were clear and collective grief as well as your own amplified, which we go through as workers. 
Fleur: Yes. 
Chris: Like energy workers go through that a lot. Yeah. 
Fleur: But it's exactly what I think what you've been talking about, which is can't just do it surface level.
Chris: No, 
Fleur: you gotta
Chris: or you can and you'll get surface level results and manifestations. And that's also, there's also nothing wrong with that. I know people who, as soon as it comes up, it's like, oh God, I need a cigarette. I need a coffee. And they leave. And you're just like, okay. And that's fine. Like I don't, there's no judgment there.
Chris: Like it's totally cool. Like I still love you. You can still come into my space and whatever. Am I gonna wanna spend tons of time with you? I don't know. Like maybe, maybe not. But I also think that that person, their own journey and has their own medicine and like they're also serving the collective in their own way.
Chris: And it's like nothing is good or bad or up or down or any of that shit. And I just 
Fleur: compassion for being ready for what it is that you're trying to uncover. 
Chris: Totally. 
Fleur: I also know it came at the right time. It came when I'd already done a lot of nervous system regulation
Chris: right
Fleur: like it could have been too much for my nervous system.
Chris: And there are people who I would suggest. There is special space created for them to experience something like that because maybe they have a family, maybe they're a single mother who works 50 hours a week, two jobs. You can't just sit down and have a, a fucking meltdown for a day and a half and like, what, who's cooking dinner for your kids?
Chris: Like there's very real human experiences that need to continue. 
Fleur: Yes. 
Chris: In the midst of your healing journey. You know what I mean? So this is why I think, and again, not to like plug any of my resources, but like if you can plug away bitch, like if you can, you know, once a month, take the 30 minute full moon workshop that includes like an energy cleanse.
Chris: You're gonna write a letter down, you're gonna burn it. I'm can also just explain to you what the astrology is and why you probably feel the way you feel. You can pay whatever you want. You can take it anytime. It's a home video on YouTube, it's donation ba. It's like, I'm sorry, but if you cannot carve out, sometimes they're like 26 minutes long.
Chris: Like if you don't intentionally carve out 26 minutes for yourself once, or if you wanna do the new moon as well, cuz you wanna focus on manifesting, you know, you don't just do the deconstruction. You want to do the construction aspect too. 25 minutes and 25 minutes. If you can't carve out one hour a month for your own like bath time or just quiet time in the car or whatever, then like I would say you have a time management issue or you have a issue with your priorities because you probably will carve out an hour for tv or you'll probably carve out an hour to like, you know, chat on the phone with somebody or to do whatever it is that you need to do, which also like, Maybe that's not a time management issue.
Chris: Maybe that's just where you are at and what you want to do. And you don't wanna, you don't wanna look at anything. And that's also okay, like there's no judgment here, but I'm just saying, it's like y'all, I got like a 25 minute thing you could do once a month to help balance your shit out. Like that's a great place to start.
Chris: And then if that feels good, find someone who can hold longer, deeper space for you, like a therapist or an energy worker. You need to start prioritizing yourself. And that again, probably comes down to the shadow aspect of yourself that is like, I just don't have the time. I don't have the time, I don't have the money.
Chris: It's hard. Healing is too dark. And it's like, okay, well where's this stemming from? Because that's exactly what we're trying to fucking clear so that you can move into this deeper, clear, deeper, and then expand higher. And it's like you're, you're looping through your own thing. And that's just again, like self sabotage, you know, more or less so
Fleur: yeah. And we're human. So we're gonna go through, I mean, I know that you've seen me try to give up coffee. 
Chris: Oh my God, 
Fleur: you watched me have a coffee
Chris: good luck 
Fleur: the next day. 
Chris: Same. 
Fleur: I know that you walked past me at that game and I was like, Hey, I thought you were giving up coffee, babe. And I was like, I was Chris, keep walking.
Chris: Keep walking. No, I had two coffees yesterday and I also gave up coffee. So like, yeah. Sometimes we're just human and we slip and that's totally fine. You laugh, you know? 
Fleur: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, yes. But it's, it's a human experience. And I think that's the, that's the joy honestly, of having friends like you who are doing the work, but also like super authentic about, Hey, it's not always easy.
Chris: No. 
Fleur: And cheer each other on and being like, Hey, you know, we're, we're, we believe in each other. 
Chris: Totally. 
Fleur: Like, very much so, so I
Chris: and if, if you're aware that your part of your shadow manifests in the quote unquote need or the deep desire for a cup of coffee, Although you know it's not great for your body, you know it's not good for your energy field, you know it's gonna stress you out.
Chris: You know it's gonna dehydrate you, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm just projecting here really my own shit onto you. 
Fleur: But like sounding real, real at the moment. So you keep going. 
Chris: If we know that we have a shadow aspect of ourselves that likes to manifest in this way, the best thing we could do when we want that cup of coffee or whatever it is that is manifesting, is for us to say, and this comes with the shadow work, because you're so aware of yourself, which is good and bad at times, but you're so aware of.
Chris: So aware of yourself. You can actually say, I know this is not necessarily what I want or need. However, I do have a desire for it at the moment, and I'm going to intentionally step out of alignment with my goals so that I can enjoy a cup of coffee. And then you're gonna have your cup of coffee without guilt or shame because you have taken control and intentionally stepped out of alignment with what you want for yourself.
Chris: And then when you are done that coffee, you say, I am now going to intentionally step back into alignment and I am not going to have coffee for another five days. 
Fleur: Mm-hmm. 
Chris: And you intentionally create that separation, which then doesn't come with the guilt or the shame or the blah blah blah because you are making a like human adult decision to pull yourself out of alignment and in turn actually empowering yourself in doing the thing that would otherwise be disempowering.
Fleur: It's a bit of a jump, but 
Chris: Totally. 
Fleur: It reminded me of what I am currently quite passionate about teaching people, which is when you can't define between anxiety and intuition. 
Chris: Mm-hmm. 
Fleur: It is just as powerful to your intuition to say what it is not to say like, Hey, this is anxiety. 
Chris: Mm-hmm. 
Fleur: Right. That is just as empowering to the intuition
Chris: right
Fleur: like, Hey, I'm realizing. This is not it. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: Even though I'm looking for intuition, even though I'm looking for clarity, I'm acknowledging that what I'm choosing right now is not intuitive. 
Chris: Right. What I'm feeling right now is very likely fear. 
Fleur: Yes. 
Chris: And anxiety. And I'm going to allow myself to experience that. And maybe I'm going to make a decision based off of that. 
Fleur: Yes. 
Chris: But it's not intuition
Fleur: but it's not intuition. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: And that's just as empowering to take that moment to be like, Hey, human me coming through, 
Chris: we know what this is, but we're gonna do it anyways. 
Fleur: Yeah 
Chris: exactly. 
Fleur: Yeah. 
Fleur: And, and it brings me to the question that I, that I really wanna ask before we wrap, which is when you've cultivated this connection to self, this connection manifestations, connection to intuition, which I think can be a vehicle to manifestation.
Chris: Totally. 
Fleur: It's like that voice that's moving you forward. How have you distinguished that from the fear of voice, from self sabotage, from anxiety? How does it show up for you when it's intuition and you know, it's intuition. 
Chris: Honestly, I still sometimes do have a hard time, like just because I'm, 
Fleur: well you've taking a class with me.
Chris: I know, right? I have, and that class was great. I could use the chin up. Yeah. No, I think just because I have so much air in my chart that my mind really is very active and every time I connect with, like any energy worker, they're like, oh my God, like your top three chakra are, is blown open I know they are just close 'em up.
Chris: So yeah, I, I do have a little bit of a difficult time sometimes, but what I have recognized as my pattern, as you mentioned, what I've recognized as my pattern is my fear or anxiety typically kind of like sits in my body as like a ugh feeling, whereas like my intuition just feels almost like it's not there.
Chris: Almost just like so light that it's just like it's in my field and I know that this is good, or I have this passion behind it. There's like a driving passion behind it where I'm like, no, we're not going to use that color, or we're not going to use that edit, or We're not going to use that car, or this trip or this direction, or this project, or whatever.
Chris: It's just like, no, that immediately feels off to me and I don't want that. Like when I really think about it, I feel like, Ooh, I don't like that. Like if I can feel that in my body, then I know that that's my intuition being like, this is not good for you. Don't do it when I, like, I'm going to Costa Rica for example, and my friend just said like, you know, careful in Costa Rica because in Vision Fest people are getting like some people's houses get broken into blah, blah, blah, and like immediately like.
Chris: For probably an hour. I was just like, I'm canceling, I'm not going. I'm not going. Oh my God, I'm gonna get to, and it was like scenario, scenario, scenario, scenario, scenario, scenario. That's not my intuition. That is anxiety girl. Yeah. That is a double air sign. Fucking losing their mind. And I'm a Gemini and a Libra, so I got both sides of Libra and two twins.
Chris: So they're just like, I got four voices and my human self and my brain. It's like there's too much. I got six voices in here being like, breathe. So what did I do? I went, I sat, I literally sat on my yoga mat, I played some of my sound bowls. I like smashed my gong so fucking loud. And I lit an incense and I just breathed into like my asshole, basically like my root chakra.
Chris: I was just like, can I feel my butt? Can I feel my spine? Can I feel my toes? Can I, and I just like rooted down and. I got up and I jumped around and then I went on YouTube and I did an Insta, or I did um, like a live pickup pile, tarot card reading. And 30 minutes after like that reading was done. So I did like all the sound stuff, the grounding, I did tarot card reading.
Chris: I moved all this energy. As soon as I was done that I was like, feel great. Like I feel good. I'm going to Costa Rica. It's gonna be a fucking awesome trip. Like every time I think about it, like even thinking about it now, I can feel like my heart space opening. I'm like, that is good. I'm supposed to be there.
Chris: You know what I mean? It's like, so that is one of the identifiers. Iss just like fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. And it's just like, okay, that's not real. Like, yeah, I wanna respect that. My mind goes there. Thank you for trying to protect me. But it's just like, Probably gonna be okay. You know, like I will be touch wood, like I 
Fleur: You're gonna be fine.
Chris: Yeah, I'll be fine. 
Fleur: No, I, I think exactly what you said is such a common pattern with the anxiety being on repeat. Cuz it happens for me too
Chris: right
Fleur: the minute I'm watching the same thought come back up, I'm like, oh, 
Chris: and it doesn't go away. It's crazy. 
Fleur: Oh yeah, no, let's
Chris: they love that 
Fleur: this is like the nervous system hijack 
Chris: and what is like, part of me was also like, okay, I need to clear my energy space because when I go into a space of like repetitive thought, repetitive thought, repetitive thought, it's like, I need earth, I need breath, I probably need sound.
Chris: Smell is good, touch is good. Bring me back to the body. And set the intention, ask my guides to clear any energetic attacks or attachments or entities that are trying to fuck with me, because I've temporarily gone into a state of fear, which has fragmented me, which has opened me up and made me vulnerable to quote unquote attacks.
Chris: And now I'm spiraling. And it's like, what do I need to do? I need to take control of my energy unit, and I need to re fragment and pull myself back together and, and rebuild things. So I think that is what I kind of go into a little bit when my mind starts to, to rattle. And I know that that's not intuition because my higher self, my guides, my soul would never talk to me like that.
Chris: Those are, that's, that is a direct attack from either my wiring, my hard wiring, or an external energy that's trying to keep me out of doing something that's actually good for me. So, so clearing that and coming back to the self, you know. 
Fleur: And then how much does astrology then play into how you make your choices, how you set up your life, how you do these processes, how much are you actually looking at the astrology that's out there to inform your day-to-day?
Chris: I think it would be wiser for me to intentionally use it more, to be completely honest. But what I find to be wildly exciting is that because I am in such a state of flow the majority of the time, and because I've done so much internal work, that I am so connected to the self and to my guides and to the sort of channel that comes through me, the planet as they move, as the astrology is moving, each planet holds a very specific vibration.
Chris: They have their own sound, they have their own frequency. As those planets interact with earth, different levels, different sounds, different frequencies mix, right? So as the planets come together versus they separate one planet with another one, that one with a different one, that all holds a different sound, let's say a different frequency.
Chris: So as we are, as we are experiencing on earth, the music that is coming towards us from all of these planets, that is constantly changing. We are intuitively picking that up because it's a frequency. So our cells are gonna receive it and it's going to drive us in some sort of direction. I think where I'm at now is being pleasantly surprised with how many decisions I'm making that are in line with the astrology above me.
Chris: Just naturally without even, without even checking it, like the tattoos on these two fingers. I have the moon and I have Black Moon Lilith and I went and got this tattoo done, which was about ending a chapter in my life. It's a skull with a sword through it, or sorry, it's um, a skeleton with a sword through it and a crown on it.
Chris: And I was like, I'm ready to move into the next level. I'm ready to find clarity and boundaries with this part of myself, and I'm ready to release and go through the death process of this old version of myself. That day when I went to get that tattoo, I was like, could you also do a moon here? And the Black Moon Lilith here, and they're on two fingers beside each other, the podcast listeners, and like, I got home that night, the moon and Black Moon Lilith.
Chris: Were conjunct that day, which means they were together that day and they were exactly conjunct at the same degree as the moon placement in my natal chart, which is a death and rebirth experience with Black Moon Lilith and the New Moon coming together. And they came together on my fucking natal chart placement to the exact degree when I got a rebirth tattoo.
Chris: Like I literally bursted out in tears and was just like, what the fuck is that about? Like that blew my mind. And like that just goes to show that like the deeper you are connected with yourself and the more of that shadow work that you do and the deeper you purge and the more alignment you find and the flow that you're in, then you'll see that as the planets are moving, you're actually dancing with them.
Chris: You know what I mean? Because the planets are also gods. The planets are also, you know, Versions of our higher south. The point like it, we really are all the same thing. We're all just practicals and particles of one experience. So it's like, anyways, there's a lot more channeling through here, but we'll save that for a different time.
Chris: But yeah, so these tattoos, every time I look at them, I'm just like, wow. The alignment that is just naturally moving through me is crazy. 
Fleur: What a great reminder. 
Chris: Right. 
Fleur: Just every day you could be like, wow, look at that. 
Chris: Like, and you know what? I sometimes forget until I talk about it and I'm like, that's fucking wild. And it is. 
Fleur: Well, thank you for being here. Thanks for your brilliance, your fun, your humor. I love talking to you. 
Chris: Thank you. This is so fun. And I wish you so much luck with the new podcast. This is a nice vibe. It's a different energy, so Yeah, it's cool. You gotta be you. 
Fleur: I gotta be me. 
Chris: Yeah. 
Fleur: I gotta 
Chris: love that.
Fleur: Get chat. Cause you know I'm, you know, I'm chatty. 
Chris: Oh, you're a chatty Kathy. 
Fleur: Yeah, I'm chatty. 
Chris: Absolutely. 
Fleur: It's hard for me to like sit here and interview other people and be like, don't barge in 
Chris: well you too are going through your, um, sun and Pluto Conjunct Rebirth. So new structures, new ways of doing things, ending carmic cycles, like, yeah.
Fleur: Happy Valentine's day Chris
Chris: you too. Yeah. We have some Chinese food to get to. 
Fleur: Yes, we we're wrapping it up. Thank you. Thank you. Thank, 
Chris: thank you.

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